Holding Onto Hope.

I miss her freckles,
and i miss her cheeks.
I miss her eyes,
and i miss her lips.
I miss her nose,
and i miss her nosering.
I miss her eyelashes,
and i miss her eyebrows.
I miss her skin,
and i miss her scent.
I miss her arms,
and i miss her legs.
I miss her hands,
and i miss her feet.

I miss the way she walks,
how her arms would sway,
how her legs moved her from place to place.

I miss the way she wrote,
how it would make me feel,
how she picked the right words.

I miss the way she ate,
how it was the food i made her,
how it was the food she made me.

I miss the way she laughed,
how it would make me smile,
how i knew she was happy.

I miss the way she cried,
how the tears ran down her face,
how i knew how to make them go away.

I miss her taste in music,
how it fitted her personality,
how it has feeling with each artist and song.

I miss her kisses,
how soft her lips are,
how strong it felt.

I miss her correcting me when i’m wrong.
I miss being able to do the same.

I miss traveling to her house.
I miss thinking about her on the way there.

I miss her coming to my house.
I miss waiting for her bus to arrive and ME being the one who’s late.

I miss making her breakfast.
I miss making her noodles.

I miss eating jelly with her on my veranda.
I miss hearing how many different flavours the store has now.

I miss driving with her in my car.
I miss her trusting me to not get her killed.

I miss laying in bed all morning with her.
I miss laying in her bed all day watching movies and talking.

I miss going to blockbuster with her.
I miss her choice in movies and how i loved the movies she picked.

I miss our first kiss.
I miss how every kiss after still felt like the first.

I miss sitting with her at the bus stop.
I miss watching people get off the 273 across the road.

I miss the creepy guy who lived in her complex.
I miss walking past and seeing his thick black boots near his giant chessboard.

I miss tickling her and seeing her giggle.
I miss her tickling me back and she knew it was my weakness.

I miss her doing that thing to my knee.
I miss trying to do it back and failing.

I miss her dressing nice for me.
I’m sorry i didn’t say anything.

I miss her complimenting me.
I’m sorry i failed to do the same.

I miss her giving me advice.
I’m sorry it seemed i wasn’t listening.

I miss her letting me do what i want.
I’m sorry i was so protective.

I miss her mom and her brother.
I miss her cats and her dog.
I miss her bed and her sheets.
I miss her desk and her chair.
I miss her room and her balcony.
I miss her lounge and her tv.
I miss her mirror and her posters.

I miss her leaning in to kiss me.
I miss her grabbing my hand to hold it.
I miss her pulling me in to hug her.
I miss her whispering in my ear to calm me down.

I miss you missing me.

I miss the first of every month.

I miss you.
I want you.
I wish i could win you back.
I wish it was possible.
I will never forget.

“If holding onto what I hope will keep you by my side,
I will blame myself”

In The Water I Am Beautiful.

And I know its not to get away from me,
You just need a change of scenery
So strange how everything went wrong so fast
And I hope that this confusion does not last

These words might be, too little too late,
And I’m afraid that I have already lost you.
Now three months equals eternity and this will be so hard
And I will long to hold you in my arms

And when you ask do you love me
And I should reply with yes most certainly
And I always hesitate there’s something lingering
And I will try harder to be all that I can be

These words might be, too little too late,
And I’m afraid that I have already lost you now
Three months equals eternity and this will be so hard
And I will long to hold you in my arms 

I’m Not Even Scared.

I am filled with so much hatred at the moment,
When i tried to fix things.
I am hated,
When i tried to fix things.

There are threats to the people closest to me.
I will put myself before them and die for them, before you ever get to them.
I’m not even scared.

I’m not even scared.

picking up the pieces.

right now i’m sitting with my broken glass and super gluing it back together and i will re fill it with whatever little water i have left. I’ll throw some ice in there to cool it down and i’ll sit the glass down for a while, give it some time until it’s just right.

My beautiful,

“My darling, my heart and my lungs, my love, my precious, my dane jordan onorati.”

Broken Glass.

You can compare love and a relationship to almost anything really and to me a relationship is a lot like a full glass of water, if you run with it it’s going to spill slowly and you’re going to end up with less and may not make it to the next tap to fill it back up. If you walk slowly with it you may be okay, there are the chances of tripping and completely smashing the glass and losing all your water in one go.

So what do you do with your glass of water? You take a few sips when you feel thirsty. Your glass of water will always be there for when you are dehydrated. Just like a relationship.. Your partner will always be there.

Today i dropped my glass of water. I was running too fast for it to handle and even with two people carrying their glass we slipped. We have no dustpan and broom to clean it up with, it’s just a lone mess. I wish i could mend broken glass. Or at least super glue it back together you know. I don’t like sitting and watching all the broken pieces just sit in front of me; too sharp to put behind me and too much water to simply just mop up.

What do we do when we lose exactly what we wanted? do we keep wanting and begging or saving up for it. What do we really do? As a kid you will want a new toy and you will nag for that toy until you get it, but if you don’t you nag for a different one. Why with love do we nag for the one person and when we don’t get them, we keep trying in hope they will give in.

There are way too many questions for me to ask on the subject. The only answers i can give is if you are unhappy. Turn it around. It seems hard but when it’s to save what you worked for and if it’s going to make your day better. Do it! When you’ve made a mistake, apologise straight away, hurt sinks in and gets ugly. When you want attention, go get it. If you want you glass of water back, Don’t pour a new glass, fix it and then re fill. A fresh start.

i love you.

Life Goes On.

Tupac Shakur

Whether you still walk our earth physically or just in spirit; i love you.

I believe you are still alive and no matter what anybody says i will always believe you still are.

I would never want to bother you, but i want to meet you.  I want to be able to just say hello and hear you say hello back; a wish that will never come true..

R.I.P <3

Always Attract.

iTunes was on shuffle this afternoon as per usual whilst i lay in bed staring at my ceiling.

The mind works in a way no person could truly understand. When i hear a song, particular things spring into my mind.

Listen to this song. How does it make you feel? What first comes to your mind when you hear the music let alone the lyrics.

Always Attract by You Me At Six

If it hurts this much,
Then it must be love,
And it’s a lottery,
I can’t wait to draw your name.
Oh i’m trying to get to you,
But time isn’t on my side.
If the truth’s the worst I can do,
then I guess that I have lied

Keeping me awake,
It’s been like this now for days.
My heart is out at sea,
My head all over the place.
I’m losing sense of time,
And everything tastes the same.
I’ll be home in a day,
I fear thats a month too late.

That night I slept,
On your side of the bed so,
It was ready when you got home.
We’re like noughts and crosses in that,
Opposites always attract.

You’ve taken me to the top,
And let me fall back south.
You’ve had me at the top of the pile,
And then had me kissing the ground.
We’ve heard and seen it all,
No one’s talked us out.
The problems that have come,
Haven’t yet torn us down.

Am i keeping you awake? If i am then just say.
You can make your own decisions; you can make your own mistakes.
I’ll live and let die all the promises you made,
But if you lie another time, it’ll be a lie that’s too late.

That night I slept,
On your side of the bed so,
It was ready when you got home.
We’re like noughts and crosses in that,
Opposites always attract.

You always have your way,
For now it’s too soon for you to say,
Will we be always, always? x 5

You’ve had your way… x3

<3

How the Gears Turn.

Here is a brief overview of my mind:

• Jealousy
• Girlfriend
• Team Fortress 2, CS:S, WoW.
• No Money
• Fear
• A Day To Remember
• No Job
• Hate
• My Car
• Sleep

Note: Jealousy is up the top because i’m jealous for one reason. Everyday.

That reason i guess you can work out for yourself.

<3

Ready, Set, Go!

To introduce myself to those who don’t know me, my name is Dane and i hail from the Northern Beaches of Sydney, Australia.

Self Portrait.

It seems to me that most social networking sites have their 15 minutes of fame and slowly fade out.. some just silently take over lives..

To demonstrate; The first social networking site i joined was in 2004, a site called Bebo. Bebo is just the same as Facebook, Myspace and all the rest, but of course with slight different features. When i first joined the site, i had no clue what the point of the site was. I had a phone and all my friends numbers, some of my friends even lived near by so there was really no use for the phone either. I could walk across the street in my PJ’s and hang out.

The very few times a month i logged into Bebo i would of course check any messages etc.

“Hey man party this Saturday, reply to this or you won’t be on the list.”

“Hey bro, what happened to you Saturday? You should have replied and came to the party.”

This kind of thing always happened to me. I would miss so many nights out, friends events etc. all because i relied on a phone or an e-mail. What happened to handing a person an invite or calling or at least e-mailing the event?

I completely stopped using Bebo by 2005 because all my friends were slowly phasing out of it. I thought the whole social networking thing was finally over. Boy, was i wrong! everyone had just moved onto Myspace..

So, of course i signed up to the site, added all of my close friends and even people i didn’t talk to, but just saw on a day to day basis at school. You could completely customise your page with pictures, mini games, music and more. It was actually somewhat fun. By mid 2006 i was completely hooked to Myspace. I would spend most of my afternoons after school just adding random people and talking to them or i would update my pictures or edit my profile. It was insane. I was insane. Why would anybody spend so much time on talking to people over the web? I actually tried so many ways of “giving up”. I tried not using it for a whole day and then two days etc. But by the end of the week, i felt as though i needed it, just to see what my friends were doing. I felt so isolated without it. I deleted my Myspace page after about a year or so.. And as time went on i got became irritable and almost a sense of depression not having an account, so i recreated an account and i still use it today, but for only one reason and i talk to only one person. My girlfriend.

I also have a Facebook account, but i’m hardly on that too. I see people who post updates and comments every 10 minutes on Facebook and they’ll go through exactly what i went through with Myspace, if not, worse..

Hopefully this “epidemic” will soon come to end where people won’t use a social networking site for entertainment, but simply as a way to send a brief version of an e-mail. That’s really all it should be. Use MSN Messenger or better yet a phone if you need to converse with a person.

<3